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Who’s The Birdbrain In The B.PAC Office?

First, B.PAC's tweets centred on the elections, the results of which had just been announced. And then, all rational conversation ended

Until 09 May, the B.PAC tweets (and Fb and G+) made sense.
B.PAC was speaking for the 40%+ of Bangalore who are the well heeled and for whom politics and elections have little meaning. B.PAC said this formidable body of Bangaloreans could swing influence in the legislature if they collectively got someone elected and had at least one ‘inside man’ swinging for them. So they were exhorting those Bangaloreans to go and vote, yadda yadda yadda…

But when the elections were done and dusted, the tweets lost direction.
For example, on 09 May, they tweeted, tweet by pitiless tweet, a 6-point agenda that included NGO-type generalities like “Developing strong infrastructure”. (Like the beauty contestants, all of whom—but for the grace of lord and Lancôme—would be Mother Teresa and seek world peace.)
And having done that...

10 May: “What according to you should be our elected MLAs top priorities?” (Huh? What happened to the 6-point agenda?)

Another zinger:
13 May: “The new CM, Siddaramaiah is committed to restoring the trust deficit among the citizens of #Bangalore and #Karnataka.”

And later on the same day…
13 May: “Siddaramaiah doles out Rs 4,409 cr in Karnataka soon after taking over.”
Uh oh. Or was the ‘trust deficit’ Rs 4,409 cr?
Passionate prattle aside, you might argue that these tweets were loosely related to the elections and the stated purpose of B.PAC.
But then, someone in B.PAC—probably the 22-year old social media veteran content manager a.k.a. ‘B.PAC bimbo’—has taken to saying anything about Bangalore, not stopping at the news, weather, water, business or history. And like all, most Indians to a boss, will not leave a single Mohandas Pai turn unstoned—or is that ‘…stone unturned’?—anyway, take a look:

15 May: “Newspaper vendor from #Bangalore walks into IIM-Calcutta.” (Relevance to B.PAC?)

16 May: “The combined net worth of 218 legislators elected to the Vidhan Soudha is Rs 5,133.7 crore, according to data by Karnataka Election Watch.” (Oh, now is it’s bad to be rich? And what’s ‘Vidhan’? Is that the same as “Vidhan Soud”?)

18 May: “What citizens expect from new government? Read M.D. Pai's article published in Udayavani ...scribd.com/doc/...”

(Never mind the bad grammar. This is a plug for Mohandas Pai. And then, scribd.com? Did Udayavani post the article there? Or is B.PAC endorsing ‘content scraping’ as they did ‘clean and honest’ political candidates.)

18 May: “Which issue of #Bangalore concerns you the most?” (Slow day, B.PAC bimbo?)
Now, B.PAC bimbo, concerned that Mohandas Pai’s Udayavani piece would be buried under the flood of 4 responses to the previous tweet, asks, ungrammatically:

18 May: “What citizens expect from new government? Read M.D. Pai's article published in Udayavani ...scribd.com/doc/...”
If that wasn’t enough... hello? Can you not hear me? Ok, for the third time today:
18 May: “What citizens expect from new government? Read M.D. Pai's article published in Udayavani ...scribd.com/doc/...”
Then, for two days, no Pai.

And on the third day he arose:
20 May: “We need to clean up; all are trapped by the Big Lie. An article by @MDPai05…”
Let’s ask B.PAC why they only promote Pai’s writings? I would like them to tweet ALL my pieces on Bangalore. I have over 24 years’ worth. Lots to read. Lots to tweet about. Yay. (But sadly, I am not the owner of B.PAC.)
Then, B.PAC loses it completely, like a narcissistic bull in a hall of mirrors:

20 May: “Showers promise to ease Bangalore's water crisis.” (Huh?)

21 May: “#Bangalore was a village in ancient times. It has been expanding ever since. Political parties promise more expansion. Are you in favor of it?” (When’s ‘ancient times’? And what’s ‘favor’?)

21 May: (response): “Definitely #NOT.” (B.PAC bimbo: “Oh look, guys, guys, guys… someone replied!”)

21 May: (B.PAC bimbo replies eagerly): “Why not? do share your reasons for the same?” (Yes, do, do, do.)

22 May: “#Bangalore stands first in many aspects. It was the first city in India to get electricity, has the highest growth spurt.. (Cont)”

22 May: “(Cont) highest number of software companies and so on. What do you want Namma #Bengaluru to be first in next?” (Bimbo eradication, dude.)

22 May: “Education and progress go hand in hand.”
Wait, wait, wait… I have one too: “Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches!” What? You’ve already heard it? Oh.

22 May: “#Karnataka plans Rs1,000-crore mega textile park.” (Yay, B.PAC wins. Yay!)

22 May: “How's life in the new Congress' version of #Karnataka? Any changes / improvements to report?” (Getting paid by the tweet eh, B.PAC bimbo?)

Although the B.PAC social media campaign covers itself in purposelessness and provides us with giggle and guffaw, it has taken to making ‘Bangalore’ a metaphor for B.PAC; and ‘B.PAC’ a metaphor for Mohandas Pai.
When this happens, it could make B.PAC another political party. And as we all know, the first business of political campaign is to make the voter believe that voting is patriotic and then the candidate must corner the market on patriotism. What better way than to arrogate for B.PAC all that Bangalore is good for?
And control it?

Read this one:
22 May: “Humility and a desire to serve is a prerequisite for a leader. Don't you think?” The accompanying picture is a meme that quotes Ambedkar saying, “A great man is different from an eminent one in that he is ready to be the servant of society.”

It starting to smell a lot like jingo.

And that will be the title of my column next week: “It Smells A Lot Like Jingo”.


Ramjee Chandran is Editor-in-Chief and MD of Explocity.

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